Telling your young children that you are ill isn't easy, but it's important. It can be one of the most difficult parts of being ill. Children often suspect that something is wrong even before they are told. 

Plan what you want to say and practice your explanations. Write them down. Consult with a friend or professional. All children need to know that they didn't cause you to get sick. Be honest, especially if they ask about hair loss or being away for treatments. Treatments can have side effects, such as hair and weight loss, that can frighten children and make you look different. Prepare kids beforehand, and explain that treatments are helpful even if they look very unpleasant. Keep conversations short.

Children should be given basic information about your illness and treatment that is age-appropriate and reflects their developmental age as well.   The very young, ages 2-3, understand anger, sadness, and happiness.  Books with pictures of a hospital, a doctor and nurse, a bed, and times for rest are very helpful. The 4-5 year old may be in the stage of "magical thinking" and, if so, they need to understand that they didn't cause your illness nor can they make it better, but they can make each day better for you and them. Be prepared to answer lots of questions. Again, a book helps, especially one in which the patient comes home from the hospital. By ages 6-7, many children like to have responsibilities. They need the same conversation as the 4-5 year old with a book or pictures. Also give them tasks that will make them feel helpful. Some children want the chance to offer their own explanations as well.

Remember that, without information, children can feel less control and more afraid.