If I am doing so well, why am I feeling so bad?

Your physician may say you are doing well with your cancer or other serious illness, but you feel washed out, achy, anxious or depressed. Your physician may be judging your physical illness alone. The lack of  a fever, some weight gain, better blood tests, stable to better imaging studies, or an overall "look" suggesting you're better are all positive signs to the physician.

But serious illness can affect you emotionally. Many patients at diagnosis are anxious, depressed, or both, and are still anxious 6 to 12 months later. Depression can also intensify pain, fatigue, sluggishness, and social isolation. The physical disease may be better and even cured, but the fatigue and anxiety are about the same. Fatigue is not measurable, and depression may not be apparent, but they are real.

Many people, when first diagnosed with a serious illness, accept their emotional feelings and behavior as "the way it is." It needn't be that way. Anxiety and depression are very treatable if attention is paid to these problems.

Being sick is not your fault. You can tell others about your concerns and your symptoms, but lengthy details of your suffering can “turn off” many people. You may not control the way the illness affects your body, but you do have control over how you handle these emotional challenges.

Focus on what you can control. Knowledge about your illness may make you feel less helpless, vulnerable, or frightened. Try to be the person you always were. If you were involved heavily with the lives of others, re-invigorate that part of your life.  Call upon your spiritual beliefs to help find greater meaning and purpose.  Consider joining a support group. With each step you take to make you emotionally and physically healthy, step back to see if you are better or worse. If something is not working, recognize that.  Consult your physician or other health care professionals for advice about "moving on."